The Perfume and the City

I heard a report on NPR recently about the exploding market for celebrity scents. Not the actual scent of the celebrity (which would be much more interesting), and not, say, a scent that means, “Burt Reynolds in his Smokey and the Bandit period,” or “Lou Reed covered with glitter.” These are scents I could appreciate. No, what they seem to be talking about are scents celebrity-endorsed and named, developed for and assigned to a particular media star. How is this any different than celebrity-endorsed flannel sheets or health care plans?

Obviously, no one would be interested in an author-based perfume (not even that Twilight author’s), but what about the scent of a particular book? And not a book that has been transformed into a movie, with movie star identities assigned to it. Just a book. A good story. Maybe, one of my books…?

Being wealthy (like all writers), I’ve funded a research lab to develop some scents based on The Painting and the City. They’ll be available for purchase as soon as I have the shopping cart set up. Meanwhile, here’s a verbal introduction to the initial line of scents.

Lerner’s Studio

Fragrance Notes—an amalgam of earth and metal with a hint of chili pepper and cardamom. It’s charm lies in how it encourages the excitement of submerging oneself in whatever work most suits; for optimal effect, best applied early in the day.

Kreunen’s House

Fragrance Notes—Truffle oil, Hibiscus, Amber, Cognac. A scent that expands with use (or destroys the wearer). It carries no nostalgia or joy; best for any time you need to gain or maintain power over another.

Dapper Marionette

Fragrance Notes—Cinnamon and Adriatic Spearmint softened with hints of Dewy Green Leaves. Sensual and sophisticated, it offers one of the most intense olfactory experiences possible.

I’m sure many other books could provide exceptional scents that would dazzle and amaze. The Divinity Student: Something shocking and musty. The Babylonian Trilogy: A scent that says carnage and erudition. And many others, which will be under development soon.


5 thoughts on “The Perfume and the City

  1. Pingback: Just in time for the holidays « Being the Blog of Rebecca Kuder

  2. arden

    I would like to request a pre-order of the Kreunen’s House in a concentrated time-release oil. The maintenance of power over others can be SO exhausting when relying on the mind alone…

    1. Robert Freeman Wexler

      Hi Arden,

      You have to sign the waiver. It’s because of the bit about how it can potentially destroy the wearer.

  3. seb

    I think the problem with these kind of perfumes is that they would become instantly illegal… Wait! maybe that’s an idea for Samarqand…

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